The big city is not for the faint of heart. Johannesburg is the place where people come to make their dreams a reality and this is why some have called it “Jo-hustlers-burg”. Do not be fooled though, because there are obstacles to get over and grimey walls to break down beneath the towers and skyscrapers. This is why they also call it “Jo-hazardous-burg”.

Indeed it is the survival of the fittest and street smartest. Are you thriving in your hustle like Banzi or are you sort of surviving in the bustle like Zamani? Are you scheming and bullying your way to the top like Diamond or have you turned a new leaf like Kero? Take the quiz and rate yourself!

 

1.What is your idea of having made it?

1. A clear conscience.
2. I think with fear comes respect. When people fear you your have power over them. Also, clothes make a man, so I like looking expensive.
3. Amassing all the money, power and land as a business mogul. Also being connected enough to get away with murder helps.
4. I was taught that education is the key to lifting myself out of poverty. When I have a qualification that can get me a job and I can help out at home, I will have made it.

 

2.Have you ever lied in your CV?

1. I may have done so in the past. But I was surely misguided and in the wrong company.
2. Lying is such a strong word! I prefer of thinking of it as repurposing the truth.
3. I have lied about a lot of things. Sometimes you have to do that to get to the top. I don’t think it’s right, but I don’t think it’s entirely wrong either.
4. I’ve never lied about who I am. Just because I am ambitious, it doesn’t mean I have to be dishonest.

 

3.What is your most valued possession?

1. My self respect.
2. My street ‘cred’.
3. Social standing and money in the bank.
4. My strong will to succeed and have a better life.

 

4.On a night out, what is your approach when it comes socializing?

1. I like to hear people’s stories, where they come from and where they see themselves in the future. I am often more than happy to help or give some advice.
2. For me it’s paramount to be set up with a young, vibey and carefree crowd because I like to have fun and take risks. I also prefer the booze and ladies to flow.
3. Networking is at the top of the list. Second on the list, is a lady or two to entertain me. Last but not least, VIP treatment and exclusivity, I would rather not be seen to be mixing with the crowd.
4. Good, clean fun with a little bit of harmless mischief.

 

5.To whom would you give your last Rolo?

1. Someone who needs it more than me to cheer them up and show that I am selfless.
2. Give it away? Nothing comes for free. If I didn’t sell it I would exchange it for a favour down the line.
3. Firstly I would never run out of anything, Secondly I would shower a lady with all the Rolos her heart desires because I can afford to splurge.
4. I would give it to my #WCE in hopes that she would see my heart and let me out of the ‘friendzone’.

 

YOU ARE!

Mostly A’s: Kero

You used to be a ruthless hustler and have made bad choices in the past. But you are reformed. Your hustle now is to free yourself from the demons of your past and be an upstanding, contributing member of society. You may want to be careful you’re not completely consumed by a need to be righteous over the need to do right.

Mostly B’s: Diamond

The streets of Jozi made you and are your playground. You know the ins and outs like the back of your hand. You’re all about being a step ahead. In the hierarchy of hustlers in the city, you’re an OG and taking advantage of newbies, rookies, and ‘Jabu-comes-to-Jozis’ is how you’ve built a name for yourself in these streets. Remember though, there’s only so many people you can bully and backstab before it comes back to bite you.

Mostly C’s: Banzi

You grew up underprivileged and on the outskirts of the city but you always knew that one day you’d be a rich businessman, whatever it took. Indeed you entered a life of crime and corruption and these became the cornerstone of your success. You’ve seen it all, the bad and the good. But you may have too many skeletons in your closet as a result.

Mostly D’s: Zamani

You have a big heart and an even bigger sense of duty. Particularly towards your family and loved ones. But you’re also brave and not a pushover so your hustle is probably not shrouded in too much darkness. Be that as it may, it’s a slippery slope when you’ve crossed the line between good and bad. This is going to always be your dilemma.

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